Bus Tour

hi i'm from teh internet

2009-05-29T01:21:00.000-07:00

too many internet things going on. don't think I'm gonna use this much any more. follow me on these sites instead plz:

http://bustour.tumblr.com/

http://www.flickr.com/jackienan/

and occasionally maybe here:

http://twitter.com/jackienan

god it's great to be alive
takes the skin right off my hide
to think I'll have to give it all up someday

2009-05-25T23:17:00.000-07:00

so I'm into a bunch of this internet stuff now

twitter
tumblr

and other things that start with t...

I dreamt

2009-05-24T11:14:00.000-07:00

I dreamt that I saw n'sync live and Justin Timberlake signed my chest. my new goal in life is to get someone famous sign my chest.

o! you pretty things!

2009-05-20T13:05:00.000-07:00

some beautiful people

transfiguration

2009-05-16T10:44:00.000-07:00

about a month ago there was a weekend when Dr Dog, The Black Keys, and The Fleet Foxes were all playing in the same weekend, and I had to choose. I went to Dr Dog which was amamamazing, but it was still sad I didn't get to see the other two. I'm still dying for them to come around again. this weekend M Ward is playing tonight, and Ben Folds is playing tomorrow night. I like Ben Folds alright, and I know he puts on an incredible live show, but I bought an M Ward ticket because he's one of my new favorite things, I saw him with Zooey Deschanel as She and Him and he was just great (and sexy!), and I really want to see his solo stuff now, I've just gotten into it. yesterday I got an email from this newsletter I get but don't really read. last week I saw they had a contest for free M Ward and Ben Folds tickets, and so I just entered my name and email. well turns out I won! a free Ben Folds ticket! soooooo perfect! I'M SO EXCITED!!!

let's dance
put on your read shoes and dance the blues

young and shitty

2009-05-15T13:33:00.001-07:00

I really love that my life is so young and shitty right now. when you're older, you have to have nice things, but for now I'm just so happy being poor. I can wear whatever I want, it doesn't matter how ripped up or stupid it is and it won't mean a thing. I can live in a shit hole and it will be rad. I don't want nice things, I like just living and not thinking about if anything needs to be clean, or if I have to be careful. I can just be young and shitty and happy as fuck.

god it's great to be alive
takes the skin right off my hide
to think I'll have to give it all up someday

the train is lost

2009-04-19T09:28:00.000-07:00

the first time I saw the Darjeeling Limited I thought it was ok. didn't really like it that much compared to Wes Anderson's other films, but it was beautiful and all, whatever. it's a brother or a boy film, neither of which apply to me.
the second time I saw it I realized it's one of the funniest films I've ever seen. the humor is just so dry. every line is hilarious, I was cracking up the entire time. and still the most beautiful too.

we haven't located us yet.

story

2009-04-17T10:17:00.000-07:00

something amazing happened last night. first of all, I went to see Dr Dog with Jeffrey at the Filmore, and it was incredible. the first band, The Golden Boots, was ok, I didn't really like them, but I didn't have to sit through their set, we got there late and checked out the poster room. The second band was The Cave Singers. they are my new favorite bang. they sounded so good, their performance was really tight. all I could think about while watching them was I hope I see them open at the Greek in five years, and play a sold out show to a sing along audience at the Great American in twenty. The lead singer is just so honest. they all feel the music their playing and pass the feeling on to anyone who listens. I bought their album, and a shirt. I can't remember the last time I bought a shirt at a concert, not to mention for a band I'd heard for the first time that night! the second Dr Dog came on I knew that this concert was going to be worth it. they owned every song, even songs I don't like I loved just becauase the were so into it, and so talented. by the end of the show everyone was screaming along and dancing around. I got up to the front row by the encore, which was five songs long. I think I lost my voice. and I think I'm in love with Zach Miller. it really just proved to me even more that to fully appriciate a band you have to see them live. music isn't little recorded snippets all spliced into one track, it's about playing together and investing yourself in it.
now, if you didn't think it could get more amazing, here it comes. on the bus ride back, we sat next to these two guys who had been standing infront of us for part of the show. we had smoked behind them, and I'd noticed that one of the guys had caught Toby's hat he threw out at the end of the show. they're names are Nick and Benny, and after about five or ten minutes of talking we found out they go to Santa Cruz, but are from Oakland. when they said they went to Oakland Tech, I told them my cousin Lucy went there. turns out, they're good friends of Lucy, and after another couple minutes, we figured out we met before. at her last birthday party I got a ride to bart in a two door car with eight people inside, and Nick was the boy who's lap I sat on! I couldn't believe it! I cannot wait to call Lucy and tell her. we figured out we have all these other connections from both living around here too, and I gave him my number so we can chill next time he's in town. I am so gald I went to this show.

what's the word that means more than a word
what's better than the best thing ever heard
I don't know how but I just got to tell you

the inbetween

2009-04-14T15:44:00.001-07:00

I just ordered Honeybody Moonbee's new EP

http://cdbaby.com/cd/honeybodymoonbee

you should too

(that's Emily, the girl with the ukulele Twigs and Branches has opened with a couple times)

sinkers

2009-04-11T10:52:00.000-07:00

a customer at Cafeina said that Maria's matzo ball soup was better than Saul's. someone's gonna get shot.

2009-04-10T09:52:00.000-07:00

yesterday, I was super cool. wednesday night I got drunk with Clementine and Jeffrey. I joked about how hard we were going to party after I finished printing, and when I got back half the bottle of whiskey I'd had in the fridge was gone. I don't do this often, but I just thought, fuck it, grabbed the bottle, and started chugging it down while Jeff and Clementine watched with mouths wide open. we stayed up until three in the morning. I got up and hung out with Clare and Cole in photo, and made some progress with my final that my teacher is psyched about. on my way back, AJ stopped me to talk about the 4D project, while Mark Johnson waited, that's right, stood there and waited to talk to me about the drawing homework, and how we both hadn't done it and probably weren't going to. during drawing, Colby rolled a spliff as usual and a couple of it smoked it during break on the bench outside our room. I showed Sierra, Lynnea and Rosealie the photos I printed from our camping trip, then listened to the moth podcast inbetween classes with Clementine, then said hi to Cosmo on my way to 4D. our project was due today, but our teacher was chill with us finishing our project over the weekend since we lost a day when our tape went missing, and we just watched other people's movies and first year practice presentations. at break I smoked Dean out which was hella chill. I watched the sound we added to our movie real fast and it's going to sound dank. then on the way back, I ran into the girl I have a crush on while she was on the phone, and she paused to say hi to me, fuck yeah. Lev is in town for passover, and he came with some of his friends and I gave him the bud he asked me to buy for him, and then we went over to Yosemite's and bought some more. after we smoked it we went to Christopher's burger and ate delicious, delicious food. I saw Ashley Carter on the way back and said hi. the end of my night was not so cool, after Lev and them left I decided to go to bed early and had to tell Megan and Angela to turn their music down while everyone was haging a party over there. I was just so tiered and had been talking to so many people all day that I didn't want to deal with having to seem cool infront of this other group of people who I think are super cool and intimidating. I probably would have fucked up and ruined my cool streak, so I didn't risk it. but I felt amazing this morning after getting enough sleep, so it was worth it. I got my job back at Cafeina and I'm working saturdays and picking up a shift today. tonight Lindsay and I are going to an A's game.
I haven't really been posting a lot, so if you're one of the few who read this, and the even fewer who care about my real life, here is a good day. let me tell you, they are not all this good, and there are a few that are better. but I felt really secure yesterday, even though everything that happened might have been mundane, which is sometimes the hardest thing for me. that feeling makes everything else worth it.

also, this is how drunk I was

hehe

stay awake and watch for the data
no small caterpillar, go congratulate her

go Iowa go

2009-04-03T13:39:00.000-07:00

with scarves of red tied 'round their throats
to keep their little heads
from fallin' in the snow

This Is Just To Say

2009-03-29T20:03:00.000-07:00

This Is Just To Say
by William Carlos Williams

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

beaches and bridges

2009-03-02T20:26:00.000-08:00

"If Quazar had sounded anything like Dame Satan, the San Francisco quartet that just played the Wednesday-night Americana Ramble at Marilyns on K, I might be translating dispatches from Zeti Reticuli right now. Ever heard music that makes you desperately try to remember if youd innocuously eaten a brownie earlier that could have been, ahem, herbally enhanced? Dame Satans music had that effect. The instrumentation was boilerplate Americana--acoustic guitars, banjos, resonator guitars, bass and maybe even a mandolin--but the execution was closer to chamber music meets jazz. The influences, among them British folk, English post-psychedelic blues rock, spare Delta blues and the sort of weird Americana the Grateful Dead sometimes hinted at, melded into an original whole whose presence was rather startling. The four members played off each other like ancient jazz bodhisattvas, and there was a conscious awareness and manipulation of the spaces between the notes, again more a jazz trait than an element common to more straightforward genres like bluegrass or country. The overall effect is easy to recall. Its like that time you got really buzzed and played guitar in the stairwell and sang, and you heard yourself sounding like something from another dimension."
-- Sacramento News and Views

yes.

big silver crow came here to show something inside of me lord only knows

Devo? nah it's all about Bowie

2009-02-25T21:58:00.000-08:00

my new favorite thing to do to money

I think we were glad to see each other

meow

2009-02-11T21:35:00.000-08:00

so it begins...

Arlo

2009-02-11T12:00:00.000-08:00

I almost know all the words to Alice's Restaurant.

I mean I'm sitting here on the bench, I'm sitting here on the group w bench, cause you want to know if I'm moral enough to join the army, burn women, kids, houses and villages after being a litter bug?

do you dream in rgb cmyk?

2009-02-06T21:55:00.000-08:00

my first color print
it makes me laugh. lazy fucks.

borrowed dogs

2009-01-28T18:51:00.000-08:00

I do not hate my Intro to Modern Art class as much today as usual. while I was doing the ridiculous amount of homework we have for each class I found my new favorite painter, Egon Schiele. I was wikipediaing Expressionism and one of his paintings caught my eye. I've been looking at his work all afternoon and have fallen in love with it. the strong outlines, white backgrounds, broken figures and decrepit poses are extremely intriguing to me. I found through reading about him an essay about portraiture inspired by him written by Richard Avedon, my favorite photographer. it's called "Borrowed Dogs" and I read it and almost cried. I really understand why I love Richard Avedon, and portraiture in general now. this is what I love, and this is what I want to do.

death is a young poet’s romance, and an old man’s business

o! happy day

2009-01-20T11:12:00.000-08:00

tears of joy, the broadest of smiles and a heart full of pride.

this is where my sister was

shoot the cannons, blow the horns

IMPOSSIBLE

2009-01-19T13:09:00.000-08:00

the polaroid is saved

http://www.engadget.com/2009/01/19/impossibles-on-a-mission-to-revive-polaroid-film/

animals with eye patches

2009-01-14T09:50:00.000-08:00

want

I'm the boy who loves to love you

"so hip"

2009-01-06T19:53:00.000-08:00

Jason, Jeffrey, and their friend Tim picked me up from the airport today and we stopped at a Denny's on the way back. the woman who rang us up asked us if we were from England. we laughed and said, no we're from San Deigo, and asked her why she thought that. she said that we looked so hip she assumed we had to be foreign.

there's plenty of sunshine heading my way

picz

2009-01-04T21:49:00.000-08:00

I always love it when people make their profile picture on facebook one of my photos, and I've noticed that a good amount of my friends have. it makes me proud.

I'm gonna love you till the day I was born

apple blossom

2009-01-03T08:53:00.001-08:00

I just got into The White Stripes. they're my new folk revival obsession. I know, I'm a little late. really I just started listening to them because they were quoted in an article I read about folk revival for my eight page research paper. (did I mention I wrote that paper in one seventeen hour night?) I'm mostly interested in their lyrics, which draw strongly from folk and blues roots. I love a twist on tradition.

Annie Lebovitz

I've been thinking
of a little place down by the lake
they got a dirty little road leading up to the house
I wonder how long it will take 'till we're alone
sitting on the front porch of that home
stomping our feet on the wooden boards
never gonna worry about locking the door

It might sound silly
for me to think childish thoughts like these
but I'm so tired of acting tough
and I'm gonna do what i please
let's get married
in a big cathedral by a priest
cause if I'm the man that you love the most
you could say i do at least

I got photoshop

2009-01-02T10:38:00.000-08:00

and it feels so good

I want the moon's view

resolutions

2009-01-01T14:48:00.000-08:00

use the school gym
go to yoga classes
sell all my old stuff
dress better
think before speaking

let's fall in love with fate

denominational

2008-12-25T01:33:00.000-08:00

"someone said, 'merry christmas jew' to me.
I told them, happy kwanza whitey."
-Eliza

odd

2008-12-23T19:18:00.000-08:00

portraits

we're sitting on a real celebration
thank heavens what a fine situation

by the way

2008-12-09T16:09:00.000-08:00

I have a tattoo

I hope everyone likes it

fuck sacred rose

I'm just a gay jew. a stoned gay jew, in order of importance; depending on how you look at it.

"not only 'back where I come from,' but also 'where do we go from here?'"- Ben Botkin

I like art school

2008-11-23T23:48:00.000-08:00

my old homework: math

my new homework: mustaches

mustaches on strings are the finest of things

let's pretend we don't exist

2008-11-22T13:05:00.000-08:00

last night I saw Of Montreal. it was incredible. I danced the whole time, and was covered in sweat, very disoriented, and happy as a really really happy thing by the end. while walking out of the ball room, and man came up to me, put his hands on my shoulders, looked me in the eye and said, "thank you for being beautiful." before I could say anything he was gone, and I was speechless, my mouth open in astonishment and my eyes wide in surprise.

Eva, I'm sorry, but you will never have me
to me you're just some faggy girl, and I need a lover with soul power
and you ain't got no soul power

devo has rocked for a long long time

2008-11-19T21:05:00.000-08:00

sometimes I like to do this to my dollars

I hear there's this color called blue

give me sunshine

2008-11-19T16:42:00.000-08:00

Wolf Parade's "I'll Believe In Anything" is one of the most romantic, gushy, corny, cliche love songs I've ever heard. and it's totally bad ass alternative indie punk rock.

she strikes again!

2008-11-18T00:19:00.000-08:00

hahahahahahaha

that one's for you James and Parker.

Tommy played piano like a kid out in the rain

you break my heart and put it back together again

2008-11-11T20:14:00.000-08:00

Joni Mitchell is one of my favorite artsits. she always speaks to me, she's so sincere and genuine. there's no ego, just the truth and honesty. her lyrics are so perfect, general enough for everyone to understand, but specific and so well written that anyone can identify with them. anything from a love of California to feeling awkward and resenting people at a party. I think simplicity is so important, say as much as you can with as few elements as possible, straight forward, and easily accessible, but still subtle. she's so important to me because she can say things I can never even begin to try to articulate so nicely, and I can respect her because I know she's so good at it that many other people like me feel the same. for some people it's important to have faith in something to get them through the bad times, for me, I need some soul reaching and heart touching music and lyrics.

I told you when I met you I was crazy

I Voted

2008-11-04T16:20:00.000-08:00

I voted.

and it was amazing.

and I'm stoned.

good day.

fuckin' yeah

sipping iced starlight

2008-11-03T23:09:00.000-08:00

eating latkes early is like christmas in july for me

"'I don't care what they say about you in New York, you're cool in Berkeley'" - "a street angel black man on shattuck"- Jason

"I don't know about you, but when I go out, I go out to eat pie." -Julie

facebook: Xixi is free ice cream! (And that election thing too.)

you realize that don't you? we're going to say to our grandkids that the first election we ever voted in we voted in Obama.

oh you beautiful doll

you're gonna grow up someday to be at least five inches tall

2008-10-28T19:54:00.000-07:00

I think I've finally got all my shit together, I've scanned everything and I'm now working on uploading all of it. I've been making so much art, but none of it is digital, which is really nice until I want to share it with people and have a very temperamental and low quality scanner. the band is going great. we've recorded a demo and are going to sell it at our little show in the faculty parking lot on thursday. I was supposed to get my tattoo yesterday, but the artist was sick and had to reschedual, so I got a nap. I haven't been sleeping very much the past month, and it really got to me last weekend. I'm going to stop smoking for the week so I can really get better (I've also been sick for over a month) and so Halloween will be OFF THE HOOK. I don't know what I'm doing yet, but I'm going to be Betty Boop. I saw Mirah and Matt Sheehy a while ago, and Sierra had a few extra tickets to Patti Smith and took me and Laura. it was amazing, she is so incredible, defintely one of the most powerful shows I've ever seen. in november I'm going to see She & Him and Of Montreal, which will also be great. Stuart sent me a postcard yesterday. it's one of his Holga prints, I thought I'd put it up here since he doesn't have a scanner. it's beautiful.

don't worry no no no life will get much easier
don't feel so low low low life will get much easier
real soon

Twigs and Branches

2008-10-15T11:52:00.000-07:00

Dallin, Clare and I started a band called Twigs and Branches. we've all written a few songs (yes, even me!), and Dallin and I played at the Red is Blue open mic last week. the girl running it really liked us and had us play again at the end, and asked us if we'd be interesting in being hired to play more shows. last night I got an email:

"Red Is Blue is having a show tomorrow night. Wednesday October 15th at 10:30
in the Oakland, Campus.

Would you be interested in opening for this band called Twin Crystals along
with Honey Body Moonbee?

Amy told me you guys have a very great sound, would love to have you guys.

Oscar"

we're playing tonight at 10:30 in the B building on the Oakland campus! I'm so excited, I hope you can come.

it's all good she says to me
as we cheers and sip dandelion wine

eating stars XI

2008-10-13T18:29:00.000-07:00

if I had a racehorse it would be named, Build Me Up I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter-cup.

hannah drew me

2008-10-10T12:15:00.000-07:00

and made an etching

♥

let us be lovers we'll marry our fortunes together
I've got some real estate here in my bag

scum of the internet

2008-10-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

a while ago, I made a little home video on my digital camera of my sister, Stuart and myself reenacting a raisin bran crunch commercial we thought was funny on tv. I posted it on you tube, for all of us to enjoy, and since then it has gotten over 12,000 views, and tons of comments about how bad it is, and how we are pathetic and have no life. excuse me, you're the one watching stupid you tube home videos and commenting on them.

today, I read this xkcd comic

thank you

a waltonism: excuse me, I don't think you know canvas bags like I know canvas bags

take me down

2008-09-28T23:54:00.000-07:00

I've been practicing, maybe you can tell?

I know you think you're the queen of the underground

of arts and crafts

2008-09-23T21:33:00.000-07:00

this is the first print I've ever made myself, I love the darkroom. I just get it. I've done some amazing photo shoots the past few days I can't wait to develop. everyone here is such a great model, willing to do anything for art! I love this place, it makes me feel exceptional. I've made some of the best friends I've ever had, and have been creating art I never thought I could do. I got a job interview with a cafe I applied at, and I'm feeling really good about it. I've been going to lots of concerts, playing lots of music and discovering and bonding over tons of new artists. this place is the best thing that's ever happened to me, I've never felt so content.

we sailed away on a winter's day
with fate as malleable as clay

Waltonisms

2008-09-22T00:00:00.000-07:00

"my dad has a wine cellar"
"I have four different kinds of mustard"
"I could have been a professional pool player, but i decided not to be"
"I have the agility of a tiger, and the reflexes of a kitten."
"my dad made me jam, thanks dad"
"I want to have a party where all I play is Jungle Boogie on repeat for like four hours."

to be continued...

rock me

2008-09-08T07:14:00.000-07:00

last night I went out into the halls with an accordion and the words to Wagon Wheel and it turned into a giant serenading party, and then jam session outside. I love this place.

the times they are a-changin'

eating stars X

2008-09-02T23:20:00.000-07:00

Keli was just singing along to Lady Marmalade from the Moulin Rouge!

sugar and spice

2008-08-24T08:15:00.000-07:00

it feels like my life is finally starting over. it will be my life, not someone else's I'm stuck in. one that I chose, one that I want, one that I will thrive in.

she's got everything she needs, she's an artist, she don't look back.

eating stars IX

2008-08-21T17:10:00.000-07:00

Emily:
the pterodactyl in gay jurassic park is like my three favortie things combined into one! because jeff goldblum would be in that movie!

Sophie:
now all I want to do is clean my bathroom
two minutes later
ok now I'm hungry and I want to clean my bathroom

"Emily! this is the last time I'm going to see you before we move, and the creepy eyebrow dance lady is going to be my only memory! stop it!" -Sophie

on the verge of tears

2008-08-20T01:43:00.000-07:00

polariods

untraditional is the new tradition

2008-08-17T21:41:00.000-07:00

and these children that you spit on as they try to change their worlds are immune to your consultations, they're quite aware of what they're going through. don't tell them to grow up and out of it.

eating stars VIII

2008-08-15T20:53:00.000-07:00

I saw Pineapple Express the other day at the 4:20 showing, rather stoned. it's the only way to do it. Lev, Anton and I had so many revelations and ideas afterward, but I don't feel like explaining them all right here. that's what I love about being stoned, I'm more interested in having original thoughts and figuring things out. sometimes my conclusions are silly, but a lot of the things I've realized I come back to later and integrate into the way I interpret the world.

"...and then we got some pizza" -Lev

love's such an old fashion word

2008-08-15T16:36:00.000-07:00

I love it when you can interpret songs to the point where it feels like they were written about you. I do that a lot, it makes me feel better because the song writers are always much better than I am at explaining myself and my thoughts and feelings.

I just feel like sharing some love and beauty. I could use some and I'm sure you could too. who ever you are.

my hopes and dreams, my past present and future, five photographs.

all you need is love

Julie Marie

2008-08-14T19:33:00.000-07:00

pretty much we're twins.

we are going to have the best time together.

I'd take you where nobody knows you and nobody gives a damn

who? the who. the who? yes. what? no, who. what?!

2008-08-08T17:36:00.000-07:00

in 1973, my dad was working as an usher at an old concert hall on Michigan Avenue in Chicago, and during The Who concert almost got hit in the head by the neck of Pete Townshend's guitar as he threw it off stage and proceeded to smash the body with the microphone stand. I will never forgive him for not catching it.

Pete Townshend smashes guitar for charity

people try to put us down
just because we get around
the things they do look awful cold
I hope I die before I get old

relief

2008-08-04T11:40:00.000-07:00

I sometimes have these dreams where I yell at people, or they upset me. just some kind of bad interaction. when I wake up I'm still upset, because usually whatever happened was somewhat realistic, at least the feelings were. I then feel really bad about what I said and want to apologize to the person, or I feel really mad at someone for doing whatever they did, or feel awkward about what happened and don't want to see them. these of course are are ridiculous things to feel because nothing actually happened. I know that it was just a dream, but many times I dream things I think or fear, and seeing others reactions, not just imagining them in my head (though it is still in my head, I just don't have conscious control over it because it's a dream) really freaks me out. I hate dreaming. I have enough to stress about in my life, I don't need that to carry over into my unconscious.
I guess this time, though, it's a bit of a relief. when I first woke up I thought I felt upset because of something that happened in real life, but then I remembered my dream. I'm still upset, but now I know in a few days I'll forget it.

but what starts as desire can turn into need

that's the way

2008-08-04T01:28:00.000-07:00

"it's better to loose someone with the truth than to keep them with a lie"
I saw that in a window from the bus today. I think it's pretty much perfect.

I am wearing the best hat ever. or at least my favorite one right now.

it makes me uncomfortable, or pisses me off, or I don't know maybe I just find it interesting or ironically amusing when people talk about me more with each other than the do with me.

"music is worthless unless it can make a complete stranger break down and cry":

Tom Waits makes my soul want to weep. so beautiful, so tragic. so much feeling, and yet full of humor. last friday night when I was with Clare I played her The Train Song. I was running around the kitchen through the whole intro looking for a spoon, but as soon as he started singing I froze in my tracks. I just stood there with my hands over my face almost crying. it was so beautiful, so tragic. when I listen to The Black Rider, I really listen to it, I can't just hear it. every word is processed, and half the time I'm cracking up, and half the time I just want the world to stop so I can sit there and breathe with tears swelling under my eyes.

this was going to be a post filled with all random thoughts and ideas I've been having, but suddenly all of them are about The Black Rider. I think I'll just go with that for the rest of this.

there was a girl who loved a boy, but he was a clerk and her father only wanted her to marry a huntsman. when he went into the woods he couldn't hit a thing, and because he could not prove himself as a hunter the father would not approve. the next time he went into the forrest he met the devil who gave him a handfull of magic bullets which would hit anything he aimed at, even if his eyes were closed. the devil warned him that "some of the bullets are for thee and some for me" but he took him any way. as the wedding day approached the clerk became anxious because there was to be a shooting contest at the ceremony. he went back to the crossroads and asked the devil for one more magic bullet. at the wedding he aimed at a wooden dove but the bullet circled around the crowd and hit the bride, his only love. the clerk went mad and ended up in the insane asylum with the rest of the devil's carnival.

that's the way the stomach rumbles
that's the way the bee bumbles
that's the way the needle pricks
that's the way the glue sticks
that's the way the potato mashes
that's the way the pan flashes
that's the way the market crashes
that's the way the whip lashes
that's the way the teeth knashes
that's the way the gravy stains
that's the way the moon wanes

and when I'm buried in my grave
tell me so I will know
your tears will fall
to make love grow
the briar and the rose

the first one's always free

when it gets too hot for comfot
and you can't get an ice cream cone
t'ain't no sin to take off your skin
and dance around your bones

the more of them magics you use, the more bad days you have without them
so it comes down finally to all your days being bad without the bullets
it's magics or nothing
time to stop chippying around and kidding yourself,
kid, you're hooked, heavy as lead

now when I was a boy
my daddy sat me on his knee
and he told me
he told me many things
and he said son
there's a lot of things in this world
you're gonna have no use for
and when you get blue
and you've lost all your dreams
there's nothin' like a campfire
and a can of beans

but that bonnie lass
and her heart of glass
would not hold a candle
to bumming around
so don't cry for me
for I'm going away
and I'll be back some lucky day

crossroads

golly

2008-07-31T00:01:00.000-07:00

these are some fantastic, thoroughly thought out, unbelievably creative cartoons.

now that is an incredible movie that not only pays homage to them, but is an amazing film in and of itself.

very much among my favorite things in life. I highly recommend to the utmost level.

toon killed his brother

eating stars VIII

2008-07-29T23:20:00.000-07:00

this is my new friend, Whistle
thanks Lev

I'm finally pieced together, I feel so much like me

pop

2008-07-29T17:04:00.000-07:00

five amazing songs you will tell me are bad

Christina Aguilera- Candyman

Avril Lavigne- Girlfriend

Kate Perry- I Kissed A Girl

Kelly Clarkson- Walk Away

Christina Aguilara, Lil' Kim, Mya & Pink- Lady Marmalade

you can just sing along and dance and feel girly and sexy, that's what makes them great.

voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir

suede

2008-07-28T19:23:00.000-07:00

my family has started to talk in the third person just to piss me off

:P

and what is up with the designers this year and them all being the same?

I kissed a girl and I liked it

drinking stars I

2008-07-25T23:48:00.000-07:00

BEST DRUNK EVER

LOVE YOU CLARE

FABULOUS

and we don't care about the young folks talking about the old folks
and we don't care about the old folks talking about the young folks too
and we don't care about the young folks talking about their own folks
all we care about is talking, talking over me and you

this drunk needs more david bowie

rebel rebel

2008-07-23T09:29:00.000-07:00

Stuart's here, my lip is pierced, and I can buy my own cigarettes and porn. life is good.

you've got your mother in a whirl
she's not sure if you're a boy or a girl

this blog needs more David Bowie

2008-07-20T16:13:00.000-07:00

put on your red shoes and dance the blues

legal

2008-07-18T21:35:00.000-07:00

birthday list:
get lip pierced
buy cigarettes

I'd do more but I'm stuck in Chicago and those will be tough enough. well the piercing one.

Chicago is so great, but the people are so funny from an outsider's perspective, especially after coming here every summer since before I can remember. my cousins live in the suburbs, so everything's very dramatic, there isn't much else to entertain them. they're into the show degrassi, legitimately. I used to wonder who in their right mind would actually enjoy shows like that, but now I know it's people who think the drama isn't utterly ridiculous. a lot of them are very, dare I sound uptight, politically incorrect. they always make jokes about "black people" and use the word gay, but not ironically. my other cousins are a little more down to earth, I enjoy staying with them much more. I get along with Clare a lot better, she's really cool. I'm just saying now though, she is the kind of smoker who insists on other people smoking. I told her not to let me smoke while I'm here but I don't think that's going to work out very well. or at all. at least I'll have her to blame for it. PEER PRESSURE PEER PRESSURE.

my absence will remind you of how tough it is to be in love

hold onto your butts

2008-07-12T23:20:00.000-07:00

I find it comforting that I still jump and scream during Jurassic Park.

american spirit

2008-07-11T12:43:00.001-07:00

I don't want to get addicted to anything. I know that once you do, you're life will never be the same. sure you can over come it, but it will always be there, the thought will never completely leave your mind. being addicted to something is like a want, no, a need that you can never satisfy. I always have to wear chap stick, I put it on and feel better, but inevitably I'll have to put it on again in a few hours or when it wears off. and it's expensive. addiction is expensive. in that way I can't afford to get addicted in any sense. I want to do what I love, but I want to be happy doing it. I know that's not the case for a lot of artists. when we were learning about Annie Lebowitz my teacher mentioned the amount of drugs she had to do to be accepted so she could do what she did. I want to do things like her, but how can I really? by shooting heroin with rock stars and celebrities? I know what will happen to me, but that's the problem with humans, we have to experience and learn things for ourselves before we can actually understand. I don't want that, I know it will make me miserable, but I know that someone like me wouldn't have any resistance. it would ruin my entire life, but am I ok with coming just short of my dreams to maintain my well being? are my morals really that strong? pot is one thing, but I think I'm falling into cigarettes, trying to justify it, but knowing I'm just weak and in denial, because admitting it would mean hating myself. but doesn't that happen with everything? when I was in fifth grade I ran into some mean eighth graders. I was complaining to my parents and asked, why are they like that? they told me that people sometime just get meaner at that age. I said I'd never be mean, and always love my parents. but here I am now, being rude to my mom and not feeling any remorse. a friend's dad mentioned recently that smoking for four years won't kill you, but smoking until you're sixty will. it's true, but is it really that easy? after four years will I really just quit, or come up with some new justification? but maybe I'm being unrealistic, I'll never be truly happy, no one is. there is no set standard of happiness, everyone's idea of it is constantly changing. maybe it seems like settling now, but maybe in the future it won't. maybe there's hope. I just know that it's going to be hard to get there no matter what choices I make. and here I am, back to my original conclusion that there's nothing I can do and I shouldn't worry about it. just enjoy life. and maybe go back to therapy.

walk out of her heart
walk out of her mind

life, I has it

2008-07-08T18:06:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how young I am, it's so wonderful, my life is amazing, it's just starting and I've already done so much and I still have so much time left and so many great things to do, I can't wait to see what happens because I know it will be fantastic.

when I was a little bit younger the strain I was under could make me cry
now I’m a little bit older, a little bit bolder, never so shy

sweet home

2008-06-25T11:18:00.000-07:00

it's not that I don't like Hawaii, I just love the bay area so much. it's the most beautiful place I've ever been. maybe not to some people, but to me. everything is so personal, I grew up here, so it all has meaning. it's not just some pretty waterfall, it's the memory of bus shadows riding across my living room window nights I couldn't sleep. it's seeing the top of the golden gate peaking out of the lush fog. everything smells comfortable, everything feels right, I fit in with the people. you can have the time of your life, young or old. I can't wait to grow up here. it suits me.

I could never see myself feeling at home anywhere else in the world.

stuck in paradise

2008-06-22T18:52:00.000-07:00

we all thought we would be flying home tonight, and getting back in the bay tomorrow around five in the morning. we were twenty four hours off, so now we're stuck here for an extra day. it's not the worst place to be stranded at all, but I was ready to go home and was looking forward to it. this trip has been nice, but I'm definitely ready and prepared for it to close. so to pass the time, I've been going through some of the photos I've taken with my new Nikon D200. here are a few shots to show you what we've been up to.

there's nothing wrong with what she says, it's the way she says it
there's nothing wrong with the way she moves, away from everyone

what's the happy happs?

2008-06-15T12:25:00.000-07:00

I got a Nikon D200
I qualified for CSF
I graduated
I got some sweet new pants
I had a very good day and fun night
I am leaving for Hawaii with Celia and Natalie

give me your address and we'll send you a post card! aloha!

same structure

2008-06-10T16:40:00.000-07:00

I'm graduating. I've had many thoughts about this concept, I'll never have to see many people ever again, I'll never get to see many people ever again, I'll never have to wake up too early every day and walk to the same building over and over again, but it's just that. I've been doing the same thing since before I can remember, way back to preschool. I've grown and changed and learned things in countless ways, but always within the same structural barriers: weekdays are school, weekends are free, summer is busy, and breaks are used few and far between. everything I've ever learned I've had to figure out within this structure, or by knowingly breaking it and accepting the consequences. now suddenly I won't necessarily be punished for doing something on a school night with being forced to be somewhere the next morning and making my dad stay up late to wait for me when he has work the next day. it's an obvious concept that everyone knows goes along with graduation, but I'd never really thought about it. now that I have I'm a little overwhelmed, but I think in the good way. I think I'm really going to enjoy it, it's what I've been dreaming of breaking free from for a long time. it's weird that it's suddenly only a few days away.

pretend that you're not as great as you're bound to become

we're on a boat

2008-06-05T17:03:00.000-07:00

Maria made all the flowers, and helped me with the gardenia for my hair. they were beautiful, I can't thank her enough. she also lent me the necklace I wore.

we took BART, people on the train were very amused. we stopped to talk to an amazing woman on our way, and she actually ended up talking to us for over a half hour. we were last in line, but got there right as they started boarding, so it worked out.

prom was on a boat, which I at first kept forgetting. it was extremely bizarre when it started moving, every time I looked out the window I was shocked to see the world outside the world outside whizzing by. I had to go up to the roof before I could come to terms with the fact that yes, we were on a moving boat.

we were also last in line to get our photo taken, but it turned out perfect. definitely worth paying for, I can't wait to send out copies to my family.

I didn't dance very much, partly because my dress wouldn't allow it, but also because I'm not really into that kind of dancing. I was happy hanging out with my friends and looking out the window at the gorgeous city passing by.

then I slept over Parker's, and then I shaved my head

the end

ps I've started a separate blog for the self portrait project I've embarked upon called fifty two girls. one shot a week for a year, you should check it out.

and all of the people
were charmed and surprised
at how pretty and high and shy she was

buzzed

2008-06-03T19:53:00.001-07:00

shaving my head was one of the best experiences of my life. it wasn't pleasant, it was very scary. I had to have my friend Cosmo do it, I almost cried and tried to back out at the last minute. I was afraid that I would find out what I really looked like, and that I wouldn't like it. as soon as I saw myself in the mirror I knew it had been the right thing to do. I knew I was truly beautiful, and I didn't even need hair to show it. it's the perfect way for me to start over, literally and symbolically. our hair is the only thing that stays with us through the months and years, it carries our problems. I need a fresh start.

it's lunacy

I eat men like air

2008-05-28T22:42:00.000-07:00

Lady Lazarus is the moleskin notebook of a friend of a friend. it's nice to hear specific stories similar to your own life instead of simply being told, "I know what you're going through," and, "you're not alone, everyone's been there." generalizations don't help.

what use am I as a heap on the floor

why do you let me stay here

2008-05-27T22:51:00.001-07:00

I want to take a roll of film of everything: people, places, buildings, animals. when it's done I want to roll it to the beginning and shoot it again, but only of daises. I want to cover everything with a thin layer of green grass and daises.

I always freak out about how much work I have to do whenever I actually have to do work. it always ends up that it's really easy and not nearly as bad as I thought. you'd think after years of school I'd figure that out and stop worrying. no one else seems to stop worrying though, I'm probably just following their example. that sucks, why should I have to worry just because no one else can handle themselves?

I can't sigh and huff. every time I try I end up coughing. I've been noticing how much I sigh and huff. it's a lot; usually at my mom.

on days I feel depressed it's frustrating telling people that. they interchange depression with sadness, and don't understand the key difference between them. people are sad for reasons, depression is unjustified aside from something being wrong with brain chemicals. I don't know, maybe I am just sad and don't know the reason. maybe I'm just a bitch. old habits die hard when you got a sentimental heart.

I don't understand why I can't take photos at the MOMA. well, I did anyway, but from my waist. they actually turned out pretty well, and it's a technique I've never really given any respect. I definitely want to explore that some more. also double exposures. and dyptichs. and composite panoramas. and composite single images.

She & Him are my new favorite band. it's like my dad's songs I grew up with, but my version.

I wonder how much of the stuff I'm paranoid about is actually real. I guess I could never know, because it's impossible to see the truth when you suffer from schizophrenic paranoia. I think I have that sometimes. mildly.

everything my mother says I either already know, or is completely irrelevent and don't care about, or both. she makes me want to scream, smoke a cigarette, and go back to therapy, three things I've been able to live without, and maybe even happily until she started talking to me again. it's not that I want her to stay sick, but the fact is since she's gotten better I've gotten worse. I can't keep starting and ending every day like this.

you really got a hold on me

Serenity now

2008-05-23T21:35:00.000-07:00

a movie hasn't made me cry in years.

River is one of my favorite characters of all time. possibly my very favorite.

I am a leaf on the wind. watch me soar.

not as easy as it used to be

2008-05-22T18:32:00.000-07:00

three options for the new Indiana Jones movie:
1. make it good- very hard, almost impossible
2. make it bad- very easy, and very likely if option two is attempted
3. make it incredibly and awesomely bad and amazing- DONE

going to the Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull midnight showing at the California was definitely a good decision. everyone was so into it, they all laughed and pointed and groaned at every hilariously ridiculous and shockingly unbelievable part. I couldn't even begin to describe all the amazing things that happened, and if I did you wouldn't believe me, you have to see it for yourself. be prepared to be yelling, "what?! aaaah! what?! what the fuck?!" for almost the entire time. it's that amazingly bad. it makes me just want to smile gigantically and say yessssss.

swing low, sweet chariot, comin' for to carry me home

add art

2008-05-20T18:44:00.000-07:00

I just added this great plugin for firefox called Add-Art which replaces corporate advertisements with art. once I installed it I went to my flickr and instead of some ad for nikon, I saw this:

it made me so happy.

singing songs she's always known

dresses, dates, and other things that start with d

2008-05-19T20:47:00.000-07:00

I got a dress. it's from macy's, which is dumb, but it's a really nice dress and it turned out it was on sale, so I'm juiced.

also, Adrian Lee asked me to prom. he did a public proposal last week which was really awesome. him and Moses who was also doing it for his girlfriend set up their amps and drums and sang Island In The Sun by Weezer. I might be a little biased, but I think it was the best one so far, and they should totally win the free tickets.

who am I to blow against the wind?

as a whole

2008-05-19T08:53:00.000-07:00

The Con- Tegan and Sara

This is one of my favorite albums right now. I've found that individually I'm not a big fan of about half the songs. I always listen to it as an album though, because together they all work together so well. I think it's amazing that all the songs were written by either Tegan or Sara while they were living in their own home. they didn't communicate about individual songs at all, yet the album fits together incredibly well.

...Until We Felt Red- Kaki King

by listening to this as an album, you get an idea of what Kaki is really capable of, and how much skill and talent she has. she puts so much thought into each note of each song, and it really shows. it's interesting to listen to even though many of the songs are instrumental. You Don't Have To Be Afraid is my favorite song, it shows you how much she can do with just one idea, how creative she can be creating different versions and variations using the same concept.

Fisherman's Woman- Emiliana Torrini

this album is so melancholy. it gives off a very eerie calming vibe. part of what makes it so great is the story behind it. her boyfriend was shot in a tragic accident. afterward she would pretend that he was a fisherman, and she was his wife, always waiting for him by the window, not knowing when he would come home. the title track, Fisherman's Woman, is about that, and is one of the only songs that makes me want to cry each time I hear it.

The Garden State Soundtrack

I listen to this every night to fall asleep. this is another album where I don't like many of the individual songs, but love how they all work together. some of the songs on it that I do like, however, are some of my favorite songs ever.

living in the moment of the girl who left too soon

on a sunny afternoon

2008-05-15T17:29:00.000-07:00

I felt summer today. seasons have a really specific feeling to me, and usually one day I'll just feel it. sometimes I wake up and say, I can smell winter. today I felt summer. it's hot, but not just any hot, it's summer heat, and I love it. except for the fact that I'm really hot. and sweaty. I burned the bottoms of my feet again walking bear foot on the pavement. I want to go swimming outside, maybe I'll do that this weekend. I hope it stays hot for a bit.

smile like you mean it.

by mirjan

on a summer evening when the corn's head-high
and there's more lightning bugs than stars in the sky
ah, you get the feeling things may be alright
on a summer evening before the dark of night

hotti with a botti

2008-05-14T10:18:00.000-07:00

Whitney has been my favorite since the beginning of america's next top model this year. she is the only plus size model, and also one of the only sane girls int he house. she made it to the top three, which is incredible. no plus size model has ever made it nearly that far. it's sad to see most of the plus size models break down about their bodies, and have to leave because they have no confidence. I'm always thinking no! break the status quo! embrace your curves, you're beautiful! Whitney has stayed strong this whole time, she's never let her body worry her. she really doesn't have to, she's totally hot and has a slammin' bod! we're rooting for you Whitney! beat those skinny crazy bitches, we're ready for a top model with a good head on her shoulders and a little pow to her punch!

(the guy in the photo has a Stuart angry face!)

Nigel: [about Jade] if conceited drag queens are "in", she's got a shot at being America's Next Top Model.

also, I can kill you with my brain

2008-05-11T19:45:00.000-07:00

I'm sick. really sick. haven't been sick like this since eighth grade. my fever peaked, hopefully, at about 103. been back and forth between shivering and sweating all day. started to show signs of delusion at one point, something was happening with my hands, I can't describe it, but I tried to cool off enough so that my brain would stop cooking itself. let's hope it stays that way. been watching Firefly. I have to cut myself off because I want to finish it with Laura, and I know if I watch even one more episode I won't be able to resist. she better get back soon, it's soooooooo good. I haven't gotten into a show like this in a long time. I think that a combination of that and Kaki King's ...Until We Felt Red is what's keeping me sane right now.

you give me fever
fever all through the night

dodo demo

2008-05-07T20:12:00.000-07:00

every girl wants a boy to write a song about her. well not every girl, but it's generally accepted as a grand romantic thing, something you tells your friends and they all go, "awww." about a year ago, Max wrote a song about me, which he just recorded and put up on his band's myspace. it's not really anything like that sweet cliché stuff though, it's more of an example that I use when I talk about what a jerk he was. after the last time we were really together, he told me was going to write a song for me about it. I wasn't too pleased when I read the lyrics he came up with. first of all the title is "So Much For The Hero." that pretty much describes the whole song. it's all about him, and what a horrible thing we did, and how ashamed he is of me, but how no one should judge him because he's still a good person and it was all my fault anyway. he blames the whole thing on "that look you gave me." Max, if you were willing to compromise what were apparently all of your morals because I gave you one sexy side glance, how much of a hero were you in the first place?
all together the song doesn't really make any sense, even knowing the context it's all over the place, very unfocused, and the musical composition is sketchy. then again, what can you except from a band named Foolsville Heroes? I might be a little bit biased, so if you want to listen to it yourself their myspace is myspace.com/foolsvilleheroes.

"don't have to save me
that look you gave me
worked after all"

it's like he's trying to speak to me, I know it.
look, you're really cute, but I can't understand what you're saying. say the first thing again.

lavender moon

2008-05-02T16:57:00.000-07:00

be nice to me, I gave blood today.

I didn't pass out this time, but I probably almost did so they wouldn't let me leave for an hour.

and why yes, that is a California College of the Arts shirt I am wearing. that's right, it's official. now people won't make fun of me anymore for dressing like this.

I got my scarf and glasses from fredflare.com this week. I'm pretty excited about it.

not only is everything on the website super rad, but the people there are too. you can ask them to draw you stuff in the special instructions section. they have a bunch of them up on their flickr.

this was my order. I thought it was appropriate considering what I was ordering.

I met a girl who sang the blues

H is for Holy Crap

2008-04-25T20:48:00.000-07:00

my favorite illustrator right now is Marc Johns. his work may appear like little doodles, but as I was going through his flickr I kept gasping in amazement with each new image; they are consistently some of the purest concepts, cohesive, and creative ideas I've ever seen. his words:"I generally aim to say as much as possible with as few elements as possible. My work often leans toward humour. Finding the humour in things often leads to finding the truth."

you been messin' with my mind, to waste my time is most unkind
I got better things to do than to play these pointless games with you

Flight of the Picas

2008-04-24T15:51:00.000-07:00

1 stubborn bitch + 1 wacom tablet + photoshop + 30 hours of work=

I drew it all by hand. the background and text alone took 20 hours.

click to see them larger

Kina also made an amazing ad with the other half of the class "Pushing Daisies" style. I'll post it later.

so yeah, we finished the yearbook today!

picas is a unit of measurement

bum sex in a hot tub

2008-04-23T19:49:00.000-07:00

I saw Tegan and Sara again, this time at Davis. I was very unsatisfied with the seat I was assigned when they were at the Zelarbach last December. Turtle and I were able to weasel our way to the front with only one or two people in front of us. the concert was excellent, much better than their last show, everything that happened between the songs was hilarious, and we could actually see!
Sara wore a visor with a shark on it during the encore to apologize for her comments about the Calgary Flames beating the San Jose Sharks in game seven the next day, though that kind of blew up when she reiterated her belief again during the apology. I love them anyway.

game seven was yesterday. San Jose won. yey Sharkys!

dark you can't come soon enough for me.
saved from one more day of misery.

eating stars VII

2008-04-19T20:23:00.000-07:00

random thoughts between the hours of 8:24 and 10:24 PM

8:24: I love singing. right now I'm singing with Amanda and Abby and Jesca hoop in Feel From the Outside in. it's so pretty. I'm going to sing in the city with Stuart.

8:25: the key board feels like a mountain under my hands growing upwards. like from earthquakes or something

8:26 This song is so long

8:26: you'd except Sledgehammer to be more intense.

8:31: so not intense. I had no thoughts during that whole thing.

8:32: the Roches have such amazing voices

8:32: I started typing boyfriends instead of voices.

8:46: I'm so bad at guitar right now

8:51 I'm having that thing where I can't type and keep repeating mistakes.

8:54: JNS722 (8:54:09 PM): it's going to be amaamamamaamaaamzing

8:59: the E chord sounds so sad, but it's supposed to be so happy. or maybe I'm tuning it or playing it wrong.

9:14: I so can't hear my guitar properly right now.

9:15: the key board still feels weird

9:17: I wish I had nice problems. but I'm still paying my dues

9:20: I would let her do my senior portraits. http://www.flickr.com/photos/breathoflife/

9:22: I'm afraid to lie down because I'll fall asleep

9:23: I love it when music can make me move like that

9:27: I'm dancing among the stars

9:31: luckily, all the cool girls are lesbians.

9:32: (that seemed so long)
I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger.
I wish that I knew what I know now what I was stronger.

I used to think that a lot
but lately I haven't.
this is a great time

9:35: I wonder who really reads this

9:37: why is my neck so weird

9:37: why is this taking so long
but so short

9:39: O MAN I WANT DESSERT SO BAD

9:40: I'm getting food

9:41:JNS722 (9:40:49 PM): i want food
ElizaLoaiza (9:40:58 PM): ohhhhh
ElizaLoaiza (9:41:03 PM): I think
ElizaLoaiza (9:41:05 PM): I want
ElizaLoaiza (9:41:13 PM): stapler
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

9:41: hello, my name is Esteban de la Sex Face. that means Steven of the Sex Face.

9:42: there once was a rapping tomato
that's right I said rapping tomato
he rapped all the way from april to may
and also guess what it was me

ok getting food now. I keep typing good instead of food. I did it again! food is good.

9:45: I got semi sweet chocolate chips. so many.

9:47: o my god so many

9:50: o man maybe too many

9:54: how does everyone know this song is about lesbians, how can they tell? why is this song so long! I was so sure it was over!

9:55: so long

9:59: ElizaLoaiza (9:57:52 PM): moo
JNS722 (9:58:21 PM): baa
JNS722 (9:58:29 PM): guess what i am
ElizaLoaiza (9:58:34 PM): GOOOT
ElizaLoaiza (9:58:41 PM): MEOOW
JNS722 (9:58:56 PM): what's a gooot
ElizaLoaiza (9:59:01 PM): remember
ElizaLoaiza (9:59:04 PM): mom said goot
ElizaLoaiza (9:59:08 PM): instead of goat
JNS722 (9:59:18 PM): i'm a sheep
ElizaLoaiza (9:59:27 PM): well I'm a kitty
ElizaLoaiza (9:59:29 PM): and I ate you
ElizaLoaiza (9:59:49 PM): and then a kitty poacher killed me
ElizaLoaiza (10:00:06 PM): oh wait i went out of order

10:01: people don't understand what it's like.

10:05: I finished the chocolate chips

10:08: Jethro Tull

10:11: I think she's in the sea for part of Hide and Seek

10:12: then by a street

10:13: then going into a cellar

10:14 still so long but so short
especially

10:16: I miss her. still.

10:21: yes

10:22 I kinda miss the chocolate chips. and this is taking a while.

10:22: o no! it's 24, I thought it was 26!
I'm almost done! this is one of my last ones!

10:23: well, adu, I hope this will be enjoyable

12:24: once upon a time there was
moses
yes. the end.

that took so long. but kinda fast actually.

flower kisser part II

2008-04-17T16:39:00.000-07:00

today the baby humming birds flew away. I took this about a week ago, and by now they could barely both fit in the nest, less than the length of my pinkie finger.

they could float above the grass in circles if they tried

even second violin, which should just not happen

2008-04-15T16:51:00.000-07:00

my boss showed us this at the cafe over the summer when we were listening to classical radio one day. if I could write, I would write a song to these chords.

this town seems hardly worth our time

the smell of ink

2008-04-13T12:57:00.000-07:00

my idea for my first tattoo is a scribbly scratchy stylized silhouette of a crow flying in profile. it would be on my inside upper arm or the inside of my foot. this morning I thought of my second. I've always wanted something that would be really cohesive, like part of my body. one of my friends has three feathers across the top of her foot, and then feathers going up across her hand and arm. she got the inspiration for it from a painting by one of her favorite artists. I started to think of some of my favorite pieces of works, and almost immediately came to mind a new piece from one of my favorite photographers on deviantArt and flickr, Mirjan. she creates amazing self portraits, with some of the most original and creative poses and and concepts I've ever seen on these websites. one of her newest series was immediately one of my favorite from her, and the inspiration for my new tattoo idea. two fallen leaves going up my chest and neck. this is obviously not something I will rush into, it's a very large idea, and I'm definitely going to think about it for a year or two.

while writing this I also had another idea for a tattoo, the lone cypress going up my lower to middle back. the lone cypress on the 17-mile drive is the most photographed tree in the world, and it is also my mother's (who's name is Tree) favorite tree. her favorite necklace is one of the lone cypress that her mother gave her when she came out to visit sometime before I was born. my mother's camp name is also cypress. with this idea I could unify all my ideas, by having cypress leaves, and crows in or flying around the tree. (plus it kinda looks like the African trees in the Lion King)

leafs.

canned goods

2008-04-12T22:36:00.000-07:00

uncalled for...

what if she never comes home

air bears

2008-04-11T08:59:00.000-07:00

Joshua Allen Harris from SVA got the idea from seeing the subway air blow around some plastic garbage. you can now see carefully constructed plastic inflatable polar bears all over New York.

I think I figured out a way to make my own prom dress

not chewing, popping

2008-04-10T17:34:00.000-07:00

start popping

when's she coming home

cellar door

2008-04-03T20:58:00.000-07:00

I love photography. no matter how depressed I am, I can always create something happy.

Tree Kisser

afraid of the time on my hands

gay sons of lesbian mothers

2008-03-29T17:07:00.000-07:00

I saw Kaki King at the Great American Music hall with Stuart on tuesday. I had only heard of her a few days before, but I'm officially hooked. here's her newest video, which they made with over 5,000 still photographs and a bunch of light animators. wow.

the guy who opened for her was pretty good too. his name is Matt Sheeshy. Stuart and I were talking to him after the show, and he asked us where a good place to play is in Berkeley, so hopefully we'll get to see him again at the Ashkenaz pretty soon.

I won't act like a lady as I'm told.
I will have adventures I'll be scarred and bold.

flower kisser

2008-03-28T20:51:00.000-07:00

the hummingbirds in the nest in our backyard hatched.

the nest is about two inches wide.
the babies both fit comfortably inside.
next time I can I'll try to take a shot of them while the mom's off flying.

a stronger girl would shake this off in flight