Thursday, July 31


these are some fantastic, thoroughly thought out, unbelievably creative cartoons.

now that is an incredible movie that not only pays homage to them, but is an amazing film in and of itself.

very much among my favorite things in life. I highly recommend to the utmost level.

toon killed his brother

Tuesday, July 29

eating stars VIII

this is my new friend, Whistle
thanks Lev

I'm finally pieced together, I feel so much like me


five amazing songs you will tell me are bad

Christina Aguilera- Candyman

Avril Lavigne- Girlfriend

Kate Perry- I Kissed A Girl

Kelly Clarkson- Walk Away

Christina Aguilara, Lil' Kim, Mya & Pink- Lady Marmalade

you can just sing along and dance and feel girly and sexy, that's what makes them great.

voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir

Monday, July 28


my family has started to talk in the third person just to piss me off


and what is up with the designers this year and them all being the same?

I kissed a girl and I liked it

Friday, July 25

drinking stars I




and we don't care about the young folks talking about the old folks
and we don't care about the old folks talking about the young folks too
and we don't care about the young folks talking about their own folks
all we care about is talking, talking over me and you

this drunk needs more david bowie

Wednesday, July 23

rebel rebel

Stuart's here, my lip is pierced, and I can buy my own cigarettes and porn. life is good.

you've got your mother in a whirl
she's not sure if you're a boy or a girl

Sunday, July 20

this blog needs more David Bowie

put on your red shoes and dance the blues

Friday, July 18


birthday list:
get lip pierced
buy cigarettes

I'd do more but I'm stuck in Chicago and those will be tough enough. well the piercing one.

Chicago is so great, but the people are so funny from an outsider's perspective, especially after coming here every summer since before I can remember. my cousins live in the suburbs, so everything's very dramatic, there isn't much else to entertain them. they're into the show degrassi, legitimately. I used to wonder who in their right mind would actually enjoy shows like that, but now I know it's people who think the drama isn't utterly ridiculous. a lot of them are very, dare I sound uptight, politically incorrect. they always make jokes about "black people" and use the word gay, but not ironically. my other cousins are a little more down to earth, I enjoy staying with them much more. I get along with Clare a lot better, she's really cool. I'm just saying now though, she is the kind of smoker who insists on other people smoking. I told her not to let me smoke while I'm here but I don't think that's going to work out very well. or at all. at least I'll have her to blame for it. PEER PRESSURE PEER PRESSURE.

my absence will remind you of how tough it is to be in love

Saturday, July 12

hold onto your butts

I find it comforting that I still jump and scream during Jurassic Park.

Friday, July 11

american spirit

I don't want to get addicted to anything. I know that once you do, you're life will never be the same. sure you can over come it, but it will always be there, the thought will never completely leave your mind. being addicted to something is like a want, no, a need that you can never satisfy. I always have to wear chap stick, I put it on and feel better, but inevitably I'll have to put it on again in a few hours or when it wears off. and it's expensive. addiction is expensive. in that way I can't afford to get addicted in any sense. I want to do what I love, but I want to be happy doing it. I know that's not the case for a lot of artists. when we were learning about Annie Lebowitz my teacher mentioned the amount of drugs she had to do to be accepted so she could do what she did. I want to do things like her, but how can I really? by shooting heroin with rock stars and celebrities? I know what will happen to me, but that's the problem with humans, we have to experience and learn things for ourselves before we can actually understand. I don't want that, I know it will make me miserable, but I know that someone like me wouldn't have any resistance. it would ruin my entire life, but am I ok with coming just short of my dreams to maintain my well being? are my morals really that strong? pot is one thing, but I think I'm falling into cigarettes, trying to justify it, but knowing I'm just weak and in denial, because admitting it would mean hating myself. but doesn't that happen with everything? when I was in fifth grade I ran into some mean eighth graders. I was complaining to my parents and asked, why are they like that? they told me that people sometime just get meaner at that age. I said I'd never be mean, and always love my parents. but here I am now, being rude to my mom and not feeling any remorse. a friend's dad mentioned recently that smoking for four years won't kill you, but smoking until you're sixty will. it's true, but is it really that easy? after four years will I really just quit, or come up with some new justification? but maybe I'm being unrealistic, I'll never be truly happy, no one is. there is no set standard of happiness, everyone's idea of it is constantly changing. maybe it seems like settling now, but maybe in the future it won't. maybe there's hope. I just know that it's going to be hard to get there no matter what choices I make. and here I am, back to my original conclusion that there's nothing I can do and I shouldn't worry about it. just enjoy life. and maybe go back to therapy.

walk out of her heart
walk out of her mind

Tuesday, July 8

life, I has it

I can't believe how young I am, it's so wonderful, my life is amazing, it's just starting and I've already done so much and I still have so much time left and so many great things to do, I can't wait to see what happens because I know it will be fantastic.

when I was a little bit younger the strain I was under could make me cry
now I’m a little bit older, a little bit bolder, never so shy