Monday, December 31

fourth grade hipster

you know what really grinds my gears? when I was a little kid, after I got out of the dress phase, all I wore was big t shits and leggings. most of my clothes were either hand-me-downs or from second hand stores, but I didn't care, I was eight. the thing was, the other eight year old girls cared, and therefore, from third grade on I didn't have any real friends. I'm not just being paranoid, they told me straight up I didn't dress cool enough for them. one girl even told me she didn't want to hang out with in front of her friends because they didn't like my clothes. it was a long couple of years before I started eating lunch with Celia and Natalie.
now however, if an eight-year-old went through a legging phase, she would be considered cool. what the fuck? I had to go through years of loneliness just because what I liked to wear wasn't a trend at the time? well fuck that. I was wearing leggings before any of you, and I listen to bands that don't even exist yet.

let's all get up and dance to a song that was a hit before your mother born

Sunday, December 30

eating stars III

my favorite music lately has been an album called "Say Awake: Various Interpretations of Music From Vintage Disney Films." it's the music we grew up with, but interpreted into something much more mature and developed. from Tom Waits to Natalie Merchant to Sinead O'Connor is absolutely brilliant.
I will now attempt to explain what I have come to find that the concept was of this photo is:

I call it, wild things come out at night. Cosmo is wearing his where the wild things are hat. he also happens to be wearing a nice jacket and sunglasses, and smoking, making him appear as quite a sketchy character hanging out under the bart tracks at one in the morning. that shadiness implies a wild thing and something to be feared. so pretty much he's a real life wild thing, with the where the wild things are hat to emphasize that idea.
not that I need to have concept behind my photos anymore, since I'm not applying to art colleges...

Tell me, wishing well,
will my wish come true?
With your magic spell,
won't you tell my loved one what to do?

wrote a poem for a friend

Goodbye- For a Friend
By Jackie Stuber

I thought things were going great
But I was wrong
I didn’t understand what I had done
We were climbing a mountain
And I was on the verge of tears
I didn’t have any control
I couldn’t breath
That doesn’t happen to me
It’s not supposed to
But it did
I was so scared
I just broke
My limbs got heavy
I couldn’t stand
I tried and fell
And nobody helped me
I was abandoned
But the worst part was
I didn’t even feel it
At all
I was completely oblivious
My nose was running
My eyes were streaming
I wasn’t there any more
I was in a world full of despair
Nothing was good
I wanted to talk
I wanted to go home
But I couldn’t
I thought the most horrible things
And I didn’t even think of trying to stop
I liked the pain it brought
I wanted more
I deserved it
It was just disgusting
I wasn’t going to stop
I was just rocking back and fourth, crying, never stopping
Everyone saw me
But I didn’t know until later
They helped me down
But I didn’t know
Then they left me alone
All alone
And I started to feel again
But it still hurts
I’m not sure I’ll ever let it go

I wrote this a long time ago for a friend, though these aren't my words, they're hers. I took a conversation we had online and strung the lines together. I couldn't help it, what she was saying was just amazingly powerful and poetic. we used to be such good friends. she came camping with my family and would sing in the most beautiful voice while I played guitar. after this happened to her she changed so much. she started to always have panic attacks. the first time it happened with me was because I showed her this poem. she'd start shaking and crying and wouldn't be able to breathe. I knew I was one of the only people around who could help, and I wanted to desperately, but often times they wouldn't let me. every week there were more and more scars on her arms. she wouldn't tell anyone what she used to make them. eventually they asked her to leave the program because she was too much of a hassle for them. we haven't seen each other since, and it's been almost two years now. I have no idea what happened to her. I just wish I knew she was ok.
I haven't thought about this in a very long time. last night a friend asked me, "have you ever been with someone while they cut themselves" and I said no. a few seconds later I realized how incredibly wrong that was, yes, yes I have. I couldn't understand how I could forget all this, even for a second, when I realized I hadn't thought about it for probably over a year. I guess I had completely blocked it out. I never quite understood the psychology of blocking out bad memories because I don't easily forget traumatic things. they live with me, and are part of why I am who I am. I felt horrible. this isn't an experience I never want to forget, no matter how horrible it was. for both of us.

my room is getting messy again

Saturday, December 29

next year

I hate it around new years when people start saying, "see you next year!"

you're not being clever.

Life of the Party

people keep bumping into me at the cafe while I'm carrying coffee. my hands are so burnt...

Thursday, December 27

eating stars II

I sometimes wonder why they don't promote women's masturbation like they do guys. I mean I know it's because we're still fresh into the equality phase, but I was reading this book about feminism and it just made so many good points why women should masturbate. it helps you de-stress, it helps you fall asleep, and most importantly, satisfies your sex drive. It came to the conclusion that women wouldn't feel so pressured about sex, and would be more comfortable and therefore would be able to have really really good sex, or not even have to have sex to calm themselves, and therefore there would be more content women, having less babies, and more human equality.

"Let me tell you about my boat."

Wednesday, December 26

very very late spring cleaning

I believe the last time my room was this clean was around October of 2006. the last time it resembled clean was probably sometime during the summer. I've been depressed on and off for the last few months, but luckily, I can control it to an extent. I have techniques to force myself into doing homework, or going to work, but whenever my parents tell me to clean my room, I want to scream, "look, I'll get out of bed, I'll go to school, but for the love of god, just let me fulfill my depression in some way and don't make me clean my room." before today I had put away clothes once or twice since summer, they were all covering the pull out bed from when Celia slept over a month ago, and I had to regularly dig a path in the shit on the floor to my bed. at first the mess made me anxious, but then it started to become familiar and comforting, so I just told myself I'd clean it when I got a real boyfriend, because before then I didn't think I'd care what anyone else thought of it being so disgusting. recently though it was scaring me that I could force or trick myself into doing anything but clean my room. not only did I not see a point to putting anything away, I was actually afraid to. I was curled up crying on my bed when I decided that only pathetic whores don't clean their rooms because they're depressed, so I called my sister down to make me. I've been cleaning for five hours, and I can officially roll around on the floor six times long and four times wide.
I would like to take this time to dedicate my clean room to my little sister, Eliza. she's always been there for me when I'm depressed and need someone to make me do normal things like get out of bed.

I am a vampire I am a vampire

Tuesday, December 25

chinese turkey

my family has two christmas traditions:
1. eat chinese food. it doesn't matter how, last year we went out to Renee's Place on christmas eve, this year we got take out and ate it on tv trays while watching Flight of the Conchords. as long as it's chinese food, we're good to go.
2. watch a christmas story on tbs. they play it for 24 hours, so you can turn it on any time, then just watch it until you get back to where you started. brilliant.

tis the season to be jorry, fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra

let's all go to the lobby

movies I've seen recently:
Rushmore- I liked it a lot. Wes Anderson is great. I'm going to watch it again in a few days. some movies just make you want to do that. it's not that I didn't understand it, I don't know, I just feel like I need to see it again.

Ghost World- a character study made in the 90's. in that sense it would have been more relevant culturally to watch it when it first came out, but it's still a great film. most movies about people in shitty situations pretty much glorify the shit, and just make you wish you were in a situation like that because then at least you'd be pretty, witty, and have a happy ending. but this one portrays a true misfit, who you can like and sympathize with, but you'd never want to be in her situation.

Transformers- the perfect combination of great special effects, horrible dialog, an impossible story line, and hot lead characters.

Snakes on a Plane- just bad. not so bad it's funny, just so bad it's stupid. I can understand that a lot of people could get into a ridiculous movie, but I feel like it shouldn't have been this one.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- my second time seeing it. the first time I think I was just barely too young, so I thought I should see it again. I love how Charlie Kaufman explores subjects like that, I think his ideas are completely brilliant and spot on, but I still like Adaptation better. he did kind of pull the thing where you wish you could be in a shitty situation like that, because then at least you'd be cool and unique.

Breakfast at Tiffany's- the old movie for people who don't like old movies. it's just wonderful. (not to mention that Audrey Hepburn is the most beautiful woman to ever grace this planet)

movies I want to see:
Requiem for a Dream
Pulp Fiction
The Triplettes of Bellville
The Hudsucker Proxy
The Royal Tenenbaums
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
The Squid and the Whale
Spinal Tap
Pan's Labyrinth
Whale Rider
The Science of Sleep

any others?

happy christmas... I guess... we need a christmas miracle for the jews...

Thursday, December 20

get a life

I feel like the past few days I haven't been able to come up with a good post that had insight on anything interesting. I've also felt like the past few days I've been acting much happier. not necessarily feeling happier, but acting like it, which is a step in the right direction. I've been shooting photos, playing guitar, singing, even drawing. since I've been acting like I'm in a such a better mood, it seems like it'd make sense that I'd be able to write really cool stuff here too. maybe, though, since I've been doing all these things and getting to sleep earlier, I've been putting more into living a real life, and not one on the internet. which is good. but since my signature is self sabotage, I won't just leave it at that and get to bed early again: I'll tell you about my real life, in doing so, ending it. (but just for now hopefully.)
yesterday, I donated blood. you say, "do you weigh enough?" and I say, "fuck you, I'm trying to do a nice thing and that's all you can think of?" yes, I'm small. I don't have a problem, I like my body to a relatively amazing extent considering I'm an american teenage girl. it's just people never say, "you're so pretty" or "you have such a nice figure." they just tell me I'm small and skinny. but I digress. so no, I don't actually know if I weigh more than 110 pounds, which was the cut off. I don't have a scale in my house, so I don't know my true weight (which considered in the morning, after you go to the bathroom, but before you eat) but I know it's somewhere around 110, give or take a few pounds. I just feel like giving blood is something everyone should do if they can, and I don't think a pound or two is a good enough reason to stop me. I hate needles going in me, I almost had a panic attack before my last shot, but again, not a good enough reason to stop me, I just didn't watch. right afterward I felt fine, I thought I'd just grab some cheeze its and water bottles and go back to class, but they told me I had to sit for fifteen minutes. I was talking to Kellie and Jane, and I kept feeling shittier and shittier, like I couldn't even make it up the stairs to get back to class. I was drinking some water, then everything started getting black like I was having a bad head rush, then there were some blurry people putting wet paper towels on my face and asking me if I was ok. they told me I had passed out, and I realized I was lying on my back, and a woman was rocking my knees back and fourth. she asked my if my face hurt. "why?" "because you fell on it" then I realized my cheek bone was throbbing. it's weird that something like fall off a chair flat on my face didn't wake me up before the doctors did... and later Kellie told me I had hit my head on a box while I was falling too, which explains the red thing and what feels like a bruise on my head. I felt sooooo shitty for a minute or two while I was still lying there, but it passed, and I was better pretty fast. while I was still feeling horrible though, I think they were making jokes. I say I think, because I couldn't tell if they were being serious or not. one of the women said, "at least you made a crash sound" which confused me a lot, but she said some people pass out while they're lying on the chair/bed/couch thing, so they don't know, and apparently my fall made a really loud noise. so that's pretty much all of the interesting bits. they filled out paper work, thanks to Andrew Sutherland who got me some water and my phone, and sorry, Maria, that I couldn't go into work. I felt kinda bad that I had freaked everyone out like that. like in hind site, I don't really mind that it happened, I'm not surprised at all, and I'm pretty sure I'll be feeling completely normal again by tomorrow, but I feel like the worst thing that I could have experienced is seeing someone fall off a chair and land on their face. so, sorry about that guys... over all, it was a great experience, and I don't regret a thing, because my blood saved someone's life

but you should still always give blood when you can!
it was a great experience, because my blood saved someone's life

"so, can I go back to class now?"
"yeah sure, we've determined that you're pretty much alive"

Tuesday, December 18

once I decided it was a good idea to take a nap at 5:00

this is what happened when I woke up five hours later and couldn't fall back asleep


I can't draw. I will anyway.

Friday, December 14

can't stop the beat

dancing is not only extremely awkward for me, it's extremely fun! I love to dance, but have had no training, and not much practice since I only do so in the privacy of my own room, so no one but Natalie has ever really seen me. she's the one who got me into dancing in my room in the first place. I'd love to go some place that I could let go of all my self consciousness and just move to my awkward little heart's desire. my room seems to keep getting smaller.
I never thought anyone would ever see this, but I just found it, and feel like it's been long enough for it to be more funny than embarrassing. go ahead and laugh, but you know you can only wish you could have as much fun as us.

Natalie, you can't kill me for two reasons:
I. this isn't myspace
II. they'll only be laughing at me, since you actually know how to dance.

boy's shorts make my ass look good... I should find those...

that's too many chairs for one room

I am an awkward person, but I find that this time of year is especially awkward. so I've decided to honor that, and make this awkwardness is funny week. I'd say that the festivus post was a good way to start that off, since it is the inspiration for this theme, though I hadn't thought of it specifically when I made that post. my last post was also very appropriate, because what I described about myself there is the reason I'm so awkward.
my favorite scene in Knocked Up is another way to describe a reason that I'm so awkward. I can relate in the sense that sometime I just can't believe how anyone could ever like me, and this is probably the reason I'm so shy and awkward around new people, or even people I've known for a while. it's also the funniest scene in the whole movie.

I'm a hat factory

Thursday, December 13

Eating Stars I

when I tried to write the I for 1, I accidentally hit the one button after I hit shit, and ended up writing Eating Stars! instead. it was exciting. I know I'm not the first to think of other symbols for real letter, but I've never ever done it before, so it was a new and differnt experience for me and I found it interesting.
that just took so long to say
I've recently figured out why i take so long to say things all the time. everyone has a lot of thoughts behind what they actually are meaning by the little they are say, to imply it in the right way to get the right feeling behind what is being said. I'm doing it right now, but what's differnt about my little thoughts, as I will call them from now on, is that I have a hard time realizing that I actually probably have to say half as much as I do for people to understand what I'm saying, because I feel like I have to say every little thought behind each idea. even just saying this I probably went on for way too long.
it feels like it just took so long to write all that, but looking at it, it doesn't seem as much. that's been my night for me. thinking things are taking so long, or are so big, but only to find out that they weren't actually that long, and were really pretty small compared to what I thought. but all this probably would have taken anyone else one paragraph to say, and it took me three. so think about it this way, I have to wright a hell of a lot more to make a post because it takes me three times as long as anyone to say anything.
the end

soda or pop

once I was an age that I could make my own choices in what music I listened to, I pretty much went with radio disney. I drifted far away from the traditional pop genera once I was an age that I could make good choices in what I listened to, but every once in a while I find myself drawn to a random pop song. semi-recent examples have been Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend, Kelly Clarkson's Walk Away, a few songs from the Moulin Rouge Soundtrack, and Christina Aguilera's Candyman.

These are relatively good songs compared to the other stuff the artist produces. I couldn't believe that it was Christina Aguilera when I first heard Candyman, and though these songs seem silly, they are pretty much the definition of pop music in the sense that they are perfectly composed to appeal to the majority of contemporary people. what I've found with most of the songs I listen to like these is that though I love that one particular song, when I try to listen to more from that artist, it just doesn't happen.
what slightly throws me off though is my latest musically guilty pleasure, The Reason's We're So Beyond This. the one thing I never ever stop hating is whiny boy bands. I can handle girls being cliche, or even mature guys being cliche, but put on some Journey or Motion City Soundtrack and I might just kill you. also, the Reason isn't very popular, breaking yet another part of the pattern. this is why I have concluded that it must be the fact that Sara Quin (as in Tegan and Sara) who is featured in the song is why I have come to playing this song on repeat. also, I've realized that the song is about a girl and boy arguing back and forth that they've been through so much that they should be above hiding things from each other and fighting the way they do. if you know me, this might sound familiar.
here's the video. I like the concept, but I feel like they could have done a lot more with it.

Parker, I feel like you'd really appreciate how hot Sara is.

"We're so beyond this, I need to feel your trust
So we can be honest, you've got to give me this much
'Cause we're so beyond this, I've got to get it through
If you can be honest, I can be honest with you"

nice above ground pool, mike

I'm sick of all this jolliness. I know that all anyone really wants to do during this time of the year is be bitter and complain, like me. there has to be another way.
oh wait, there is.
everything you need to know about festivus:

photo of the day:
"The Sky Is Mine"

by Elif KarakoƧ
this girl lives in Turkey, and I absolutely love her work. she brings such a wonderful feel to each of her photographs, especially through processing. her concepts are also so unique and developed, sometimes I can't believe she's my age. her friends also do wonderful work with a similar style to hers, but she definitely stands out. I guess it's a Turkish thing.

senior quote: "If you believe in your dreams, trust in yourself, and follow your star, you'll still get beaten by people who actually went out and learned things and weren't so lazy"- Terry Pratchett

Wednesday, December 12

everywhere else

here's a bunch of random other people I've seen live, but obviously didn't make enough of an impact on me to make be want to dedicate a whole entry to them. that isn't to say that they aren't amazing, they just aren't my all time favorites. I have a feeling this will be because most of these shows were on my parents priority list, not mine, I just went along for fun.
I saw the Indigo Girls at the Fillmore in January of 2006. I went with my dad as my Chanukkah present. my sister got an ipod. I'm not bitter or anything, I like their early stuff, but they played a lot of new stuff, and they were forty dollar tickets, but it was a two hundred dollar ipod.
I went along with my parents and some of their friends to a David Bromberg concert at the Palace of Fine Arts sometime last spring. I saw so many parents of kids from my school. I don't know why he's famous, or how he's famous, and I'd never heard of him before, and haven't heard of him since, but trust me, he's freaking famous. you wouldn't know it, but everyone over the age of 45 knows who he is and silently worships him.
Jake Shimibukuro at Yoshi's was a fabulous show. Lev showed me the video of While My Guitar Gently Weeps (I highly recommend it) a while back, but I rediscovered him recently through a radio interview. I knew that he would be one of those people that you didn't think could get any more amazing until you saw them live, so I went to see him with Cosmo and he definitly was.
David Grisman played the Freight and Salvage, and I saw him with Sarah and my dad and probably some other people, but it was a while ago and I don't really remember it that well. I do know it was really good, and his son played bass and was also really good. if you don't know who he is, he's another one of those really famous people; his deal is he reinvented the mandolin.
Just the other week I saw The Roches and Louden Wainright III at the Great American Music Hall. I listened to The Roches when I was very very young, but didn't know who they were until I was listening to some of my dad's old cds and suddenly had a flashback to driving in our old subaru. they have the most amazing unique voices, and it amazes me that they can still sing the same range after thirty years. I didn't know who Wainwright was, but I did enjoy him, and he is quite funny. you might know him as Katherine Heigl's gynecologist(as Louden Wainwright) in Knocked Up, and actually while I was looking that up, I found that he's been in quite a few other major motion pictures as himself you've probably heard of. so I'm going to put him under the category of very very famous, but no one my age has ever heard of.
A very long time ago, like before my Bat Mitzvah, so what year was that... summer of 2003, Sophie brought me along with her to see the Dixie Chicks at the Oakland Colosseum. I'd never heard their music before that, so I don't remember much, but I do remember that Michelle Branch opened and I was really into one of her songs being played on the radio at the time. yeah...
My first concert was in fourth grade, and I am only slightly ashamed to say that it was Britney Spears on her Oops I Did It Again tour. I went with Chanelle, and her mom made us pretty dresses just for the occasion. In my defense, it was quite a long time ago, and I wasn't old enough to know what the word slutty meant.
I've been going to the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival for the past six years out of the seven it's been going on. it's a giant free concert in Golden Gate Park in San Francisco, featuring a lot of those famous people I've never heard of, and the old people who love them, especially while stoned. I'm not going to try to tell you all the people I've seen there, because there have been too many to count, and truthfully, I don't know who most of them are. I would like to feature Richard Thompson though, who is possibly the best guitar player alive. he does an absolutely amazing version of my favorite song my dad used to sing to me when I was little, 1952 Vincent Black Lightning. I really can't describe it, but I can feel something powerful every time I hear it.

a bit of history: these bands are all amazing, but they are mostly my parent's bands, so I don't have as much personally to say about them. that's the only reason they don't all get their own posts, it has nothing to do with how good they are. plus I didn't want to do this for another two weeks, I have other things to share with the world (or, you know, probably just Parker... hi Parker... I'm doing this instead of art history homework)

photo of the day:

happy late Chanukah
By Christopher Brown
"Francine Taylor is a Holocaust survivor. this menorah belonged to her grandmother, the Nazi's left in the front lawn of their house when invading Paris and was found when they returned after Liberation."

i don't listen to bands that don't exist, i listen to the ones that have existed forever, but you've been too busy up on your indier than thou cloud to notice.

Monday, December 10

the Great American Music Hall, Slims, the Freight and Salvage

I've seen The Ditty Bops three times, and have loved each show. they put on a whole performance, a different theme for each show, complete with costumes, props, and great stories. at Slims, they had a Sister Kate dance contest, and put on a shadow puppet show. they also play very intimate venues, so I'm always able to get right up front, and have always talked to them afterward. not only are their performances amazing, but also everything else they do as a band. they stand for going green, so for their Moon Over the Freeway tour, they biked across america to get from show to show. this past summer they did a farm tour. they donated all their profits to organizations that support small farms, had lots of free shows on farms, including one exclusively for goats. I could go on and on about all the amazing and fun things they do, but I'll save that for another time.
my favorite example of how they use performance art in their shows is the live version of Your Head's Too Big. this is from the Slims show I was at in June of 2006.

a bit of history: yes, yet another band that I discovered on kfog. I heard an them do an interview on t
he morning show, and loved them. like Tegan and Sara, kfog soon stopped playing them, but I went out and bought the record right away, and have been a loyal fan ever since. they are probably my favorite band, because not only is their music great, but so is everything else they do, from their publicity, to what they stand for.

if you'd like to learn more, I recommend:
"The Ditty Bops"- Walk Or Ride, Ooh La La, Wake Up
"Moon Over The Freeway"- Aluminum Can, In The Meantime, Your Head's Too Big
the music video for Wishful Thinking. it's my favorite.

you might find the meaning of life in the barrel of a rifle if it's pointed at a bird, or if it's pointed at your head

Sunday, December 9

the Fillmore, piers 30/32

I saw KT Tunstall with Celia, Sarah and Max at the Fillmore and at kfog kaboom within a week during may of 2006. she was amazingly powerful at the Fillmore, and blew everyone away. seeing her at kaboom a week later was also great, because we got to sit in the front row since Celia had her wheelchair. the best part though was we got to meet her and her whole band after their set. they were all super nice. she even posed with us three time while we tried to get my camera to work since it ran out of batteries. luckily Celia had a camera phone, so we at least got this shot.

so many of her songs are even more incredible live, but her incredible solo performance of Black Horse and a Cherry Tree is probably the reason she became so famous

a bit of history: here's another artists I discovered through kfog. I heard Black Horse for the first time on the morning show on new releases thursday, and loved it so much I started dancing around. I soon bootlegged all her songs, including a ton that weren't on her album. I eventually bought "Eye To The Telescope" since I loved her so much and wanted to support her. I'm not a super big fan of her new stuff since she's become such a pop princess, but I'll never stop dancing to her early work.

if you'd like to learn more, I recommend:
"Eye To The Telescope"- Universe & U, Suddenly I See, Heal Over
"KT Tunstall's Acoustic Extravaganza"- Girl And The Ghost, Miniature Disasters

last night: at least I went out with a bang

Friday, December 7

the Greek

if you look to your left you'll see one of the best shows I've see, The Shins at the Greek in Berkeley at the beginning of this past October. I went with Stuart, James, Ava, and Ethan, who are crazy insane Shins fans and got there four hours early, so even though I had to work until right before doors opened, we sat in the front row. it's pretty amazing having such powerful musicians five feet in front of you, and thousands people people singing along behind you.
Sleeping Lessons from their album "Wincing the Night Away" was my favorite from the show. they extended it two or three times, and the whole stadium was singing and dancing along.

a bit history: I've always known the Shins from compilations like the Garden State soundtracks and songs from the Gilmore girls, but didn't get into them until this past summer when I downloaded a few free songs. Australia is what did it for me. after I had it on repeat for a half hour, I thought, why haven't I been listening to these guys for years?

if you'd like to learn more, I recommend:
"Oh, Inverted World"- Know Your Onion!
"Chutes Too Narrow"- So Says I
"Wincing The Night Away"- Sleeping Lessons, Australia
the music video for Australia

just put yourselves in my new shoes, and see why I do what I do

Thursday, December 6

Zellerbach Hall

coming up ahead, we'll be passing a few artists I've seen live. if you look to your right, you'll see Tegan and Sara at Zellerbach Hall. I saw them play there tonight with (my) Sarah. you could tell they were having a nice time. a lot of people tried to get up closer to the stage, but since the Zellerbach has assigned seating they kept getting ushered back, which was kind of a bummer. people also started throwing stuff on the stage, everything from books and candy to hockey pucks and light up glasses. after the show I went up and threw my sticker book up there. I wrote this url on it, so Tegan and Sara, if one of you is reading this, hi!!!
props to Sara for one of the most creative audience suggestions I've ever seen. during Hop A Plane, she had everyone turn around and clap their hands above their heads. fun stuff.
also thanks for singing my favorite song from your first three albums. way to sing it last and make me give up hope though...

a bit of history: I discovered Tegan and Sara when kfog started playing Walking With A Ghost from their album "So Jealous" over and over again. kfog eventually stopped playing them (most people find them too whiny) but I went out and got the album and have loved them ever since. I can identify strongly with many of their lyrics, which is not to say that I'm an annoying little indie girl who hates everyone. in their own words, "we don't write about self hatred, we write about self doubt."

if you'd like to learn more, I recommend:
"This Business of Art"- My Number
"If It Was You"- Living Room
"So Jealous"- You Wouldn't Like Me, Where Does the Good Go
"The Con"- Back In Your Head, Nineteen

actually, I am an annoying little indie girl who hates everyone... but not because of Tegan and Sara...

I'm a cutie

tangerine. the word means a lot for me. it's a delicious winter fruit that's easy to share, the nick name of a character in a movie by my favorite screenplay writer, and how I refer to my favorite cuddle position.

this is how you tangerine. this is also Tangerine in Charlie Kaufman's Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

while on my quest to find a picture of people tangerining, I came across The Cuddle Sutra by Rob Grader. take a look at some of the illistrations. they'll make you want to grab a couch and a fireplace, especially on a rainy day like this.

I like to eat tangerines in class. my teachers aren't very excited about it.

Wednesday, December 5

five quotes

I want to draw you a floorplan of my head and heart. I want to give directions, helpful hints, what you'll be looking for.

it's a silly time to learn to swim when you start to drown. it's a silly time to learn to swim on the way down.

look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive. look me in the heart and tell me you won't go. look me in the eye and promise no love's like our love. look me in the heart and unbreak broken, it won't happen.

I won't be left dancing along to songs from the past.

I'm not unfaithful but I'll stray. when I get a little scared, I run.
-Tegan Quin and Sara Quin

photo by Autumn de Wilde

I'm seeing them at Zellerbach Hall on the UC Berkeley campus tomorrow night.

the blogy thingy

I skipped advisory to make this. pretty exciting.

photo of the day:

Marina Loram

it's been cold out