I bide my time while biding my tongue.
there's a certain amount of stupidness others can except with certain people. that is the difference between me and who I look up to. they have the least amount of stupidness excepted. I have the most. so they will except me less when I act stupid to do what I do what they do, and will then look down on me as opposed to up at or perhaps equal with. so I feel bad when I act stupid because I fear other's judgments, but degrade there's in hopes that will cause them to accept me, a choice I can never trust.
this is so normal to write but it's the weirdest thing that'll come out of me, and because of this, and paranoia.
GET IT OFF GET IT OFF
let's hope a rollie pollie doesn't result from all this.