shaving my head was one of the best experiences of my life. it wasn't pleasant, it was very scary. I had to have my friend Cosmo do it, I almost cried and tried to back out at the last minute. I was afraid that I would find out what I really looked like, and that I wouldn't like it. as soon as I saw myself in the mirror I knew it had been the right thing to do. I knew I was truly beautiful, and I didn't even need hair to show it. it's the perfect way for me to start over, literally and symbolically. our hair is the only thing that stays with us through the months and years, it carries our problems. I need a fresh start.