Tuesday, June 10

same structure

I'm graduating. I've had many thoughts about this concept, I'll never have to see many people ever again, I'll never get to see many people ever again, I'll never have to wake up too early every day and walk to the same building over and over again, but it's just that. I've been doing the same thing since before I can remember, way back to preschool. I've grown and changed and learned things in countless ways, but always within the same structural barriers: weekdays are school, weekends are free, summer is busy, and breaks are used few and far between. everything I've ever learned I've had to figure out within this structure, or by knowingly breaking it and accepting the consequences. now suddenly I won't necessarily be punished for doing something on a school night with being forced to be somewhere the next morning and making my dad stay up late to wait for me when he has work the next day. it's an obvious concept that everyone knows goes along with graduation, but I'd never really thought about it. now that I have I'm a little overwhelmed, but I think in the good way. I think I'm really going to enjoy it, it's what I've been dreaming of breaking free from for a long time. it's weird that it's suddenly only a few days away.

pretend that you're not as great as you're bound to become

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