I'm already late for school.
I was on an island or something, in this hotel. there was a challenge because I was on America's Next Top Model, and we had to go all over the island. it was really hard because there were so many small paths and lots of dangerous rocks. at the end I figured out I had left my bag at one of the locations, but couldn't remember which one. no one would let me go back to try to find it. somehow I found it somewhere else though. then I was suddenly at the video store, as I was about to leave, but my dad came and gave me something he'd printed out to do with numbers. I was so mad at him because it wasn't relevant and I would have been home in two minutes. It was embarrassing. We walked back to our house. He had Max. For some reason we turned down Carmel and went by Andrew Sutherland's house. It was dark. My sister was in there for some reason. He wanted me to recycle our cell phones, but she still wanted hers. Then he wasn't there any more. Lev and some other people were, and I don't remember this part, but we did something. Then I was at a poetry slam with Eric and Emma. Eric preformed, and him and two other girls made it to the second round. None of the poems made any sense of course. Thomas was sitting behind us and I gave him a big hug, but everyone was weird about it. After the second round I went to the back where there was a kitchen. when I got up at first Eric got really mad at me and said something like, "you don't ditch out when I make it to the second round," but I was just getting up for a break. Ms Samonsky was there, but I think was really Maria because she was showing me something to do with makings eggs. When I looked back out, Cosmo was about to preform, as like an in between act. he was wearing a blanket wrapped around him and over his head. he didn't, and then they made me. I was going to show my portfolio, but then I thought I could remember how an old poem I wrote went. I was too shy, so I just read from my little pocket journal. it was a to do list that I made up from all the drawings in there, cliche things and whatnot. I think people liked it, or pretended to more likely. after that Cosmo had to leave, and so I left too so I could get a ride with him. he didn't want to take the bus because he had so many books in his backpack for work that he didn't want to get stolen, so we went with Mr Castle. It was day time now. Cosmo caught up with him, since he's already started walking, but I couldn't, and they didn't stop to wait for me. I kept running and running, but I couldn't reach them, it was that slow, frustrating kind of running. I finally started doing this thing that happens in dreams a lot where I can sort of fly by taking giant leaps. It was like I was swimming through air. I finally caught up, but only because they had missed a turn and gone too far and had to turn around. the neighborhood we were walking in was super nice, very rich. we went through the play structure, and I swung on the monkey bars as we walked, and then they started talking about the structure. I said it reminded me of the one at Marin they put in my last year there. I was talking about when the put in the rubber tire floor, but Mr Castle just seemed so confused, like wondering why I was talking at all. we got to his car and I asked him if I could get a ride too since I live two blocks from Cosmo. he had a van, and it was all white on the inside, with the fuzzy kind of seats, not leather. it was like white chocolate. it was very awkward t sit down because Cosmo and I got in the same door but didn't scoot down to the next seat, so I tried to get in the front, but was afraid of Mr Castle. once I had settled in I realized that I didn't live close to Cosmo anymore. Mr Castle all the sudden asked me a weird question though, except I don't know if he was Mr Castle anymore, I think he was just some random guy now. as we were driving down the freeway he asked if I had just been dating that guy in the car commercials who died. I had no idea what he was talking about, and he asked again if I had been dating some girl who's brother had been in car commercials and had just died. I had even less idea what he was talking about now.
then my mom came in and woke me up because my alarm didn't go off. again.
I hate dreaming. even when I can remember them, I can't remember them enough to make sense out of them. they always end up being really frustrating and upsetting.
nobody likes to but I really like to cry. nobody likes me, maybe if I cry.